This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Your Presence

Burned Out Before Break? How Slowing Down Makes You a Better Leader

What if your winter break were more than a frantic race toward the “perfect holiday” or a marathon of overdue personal tasks? For educational leaders, embracing the break as a time to truly rest, reconnect and be present is essential, not only for your own well-being, but for the transformational impact being present has on your school leadership. Your presence is the best holiday present you can give yourself and others. Here’s why:

What is Presence?

Presence is the state of being physically, mentally, and emotionally “here”- fully attentive, grounded, and engaged. It enables you to connect authentically with others and influence the environment around you. Originally the word derives from the Latin praeesse → praesens meaning “being at hand,” “being here,” “being in front of someone.” In French the word evolved into “présenter” meaning “to bring before,” “to place into someone’s presence,” “to offer.”

During the Middle English period, (post-Norman conquest until the late 15th Century), the noun “present” emerged from the verb “to present,” which meant “to bring something into someone’s presence as an offering.” Thus, the meaning evolved naturally into our modern interpretation. A “present” is something you bring into another’s presence as a gesture of goodwill or honor.

Your Presence is the Present

Your presence is a gift that is crucial to success both at home and at work. For instructional leaders, being present in classrooms is directly correlated to improved student achievement, as well as staff well-being and retention. According to several studies by the Center for Education Policy Analysis, when principals are “present” in classrooms with a clear purpose — either coaching, evaluating, or supporting teachers — their presence can lead to measurable gains in student achievement. However, CEPA’s studies also note that a principal’s “presence” needs to be intentional, supportive, and growth oriented. Simply being in classrooms “in body,” but checked out mentally and emotionally, doesn’t cut it. 

Taking your holiday break seriously and making sure you don’t need a vacation from your vacation by New Year’s Eve, is equally important. By practicing presence and intentionally slowing down to connect with loved-ones during the extended break, you optimize your time off.  According to Critical Thought Lab, “Friends, family, and romantic partners all want to feel like they matter – like they’re worth your undivided attention. When you’re fully present with someone, you strengthen your connection, deepen trust, and show that you genuinely care about them. Presence is a gift you give to others. It’s a way of saying, ‘You matter, and I’m here with you, fully engaged.’”

Busy Brains – Ailing Bodies

Unfortunately, very few people experience true presence where they are, in the moment. Instead, we’re either “over here” thinking about the past, or we’re “over there” imagining the future, but we rarely exist in the actual here and now.

In an article from Psychology Today, Dr. Jon Bonhoeffer notes that “Our constant future-focus during a typical work day floods the brain with anticipatory stress signals – spikes of cortisol and adrenaline – that keep us hyper-vigilant, but drain our emotional bandwidth.” He cautions that when we operate this way for too long, our body experiences the following:

• The prefrontal cortex (responsible for focus, empathy, and decision-making) goes offline.
• The amygdala (our fear/alarm center) becomes overactive.
• Memory and creativity decline, because the brain is always primed for “what’s next” rather than “what’s now.”

Presence, he notes, activates the opposite – the parasympathetic nervous system. This lowers our heart rate and blood pressure, increases oxygen flow, and restores access to higher brain functions – something we could all use at home or at work. By practicing presence, we can return to the new semester prepared to tackle challenges with a fresh perspective and renewed energy. 

The Breakthrough Coach Presence Gift-Giving Guide

In the spirit of giving this season, the best present you can offer your loved ones and colleagues is the gift of your presence – attention, engagement, light-heartedness, laughter, and memories made. Here’s how:

• PUT DOWN your holiday to-do list. Substitute future-focused sentence starters like “I must” or “I have to” (Technician-Speak) with “in the grand scheme of things, there’s really nothing I need to do, nor anywhere I need to be during this holiday break” (Manager-Speak). 
• SLOW DOWN…way down, especially in the mornings. If you initially think an activity will take 30 minutes, schedule 90. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or disengaged, practice breathing exercises. Start your days with yoga or a walk. Get a massage. Get two massages! Keep cortisol levels low in the morning so you don’t experience racing all day. 
• Make requests of others. Ask family and friends for help and allow them to help you. Do not allow “perfect” to be the enemy of “good.”
• Distribute blank request forms. Invite family or friends to make requests of you related to spending time together, distinct from “wrap all the gifts,” “bake a cake,” “pick up the dry cleaning.” Welcome presence into the routine. 
• Enact a ME DAY. Offer a day up for your spouse, partner, kids, a friend, your pet, or yourself (similar to our Foundations Course assignment), just for them to be present with you! Allow yourself to simply be with loved ones and prioritize human connection.

CONCLUSION

Embracing the winter break as a time to rest, reconnect, and be fully present is not a luxury for educational leaders. It’s foundational to effective leadership. When you step out of the cycle of constant doing and return to genuine presence, you restore the clarity, empathy, and grounded decision-making your school community depends on. This intentional slowing down not only strengthens your relationships at home but also equips you to enter the new year with renewed energy, sharper focus, and a deeper capacity to lead well. Ultimately, your presence is the most powerful gift you can offer yourself and others during the holidays and beyond.

Learn how to bring your most grounded, present and inspired self to home and work all year long! Check out The Breakthrough Coach’s Professional Development Program for school leaders as soon as the holidays are over.